EMPOWERMENT

The sun shines mockingly outside my front door
Slippery ice covers the pavement
- the walk to school just got more interesting

Musn't forget to ring pest control services
Report that garden rat
I know it's only one but my neighbour too has seen it

At work the powers that be await to quiz me
None too happy with my results
But we don't call them that, we call them 'outcomes'
And I tread on the ice as if walking on egg shells
Telling my children 'be careful! Don't run off lest you should fall!'
That'll really make us late
and earn us a chat with the head teacher
and our name on the register,
please sign here and here

Then I think of the rat lurking deep in my garden

Job application

In a matter of minutes a form is completed
Add a few characters, like in a soup of letters
So much I have learned or I mime from my betters
But all I have is this form that I fill in, embittered

To a toilet seat

O toilet seat, I took no notice
while you strained under my weight
and my whole family's, day in, day out
Sunrise to sunset and later still

O toilet seat, now you have broken
and in your fancy design your little revenge
unfolds in a miriad of fruitless visits and phone calls
to high street retailers and trade establishments
who cannot help me find a replacement
to do your dirty work and bear the mass
of two adults and three children
day in, day out, sunrise to sunset and into the wee hour
up and down and up again
until your fancy cushioned hinges give up the ghost
and I get on the phone or the car to resolve
this agonising problem I hadn't seen coming
when I went to B&Q on another cold morning
and a fancy bathroom suite I scooped in the sales.