To a toilet seat

O toilet seat, I took no notice
while you strained under my weight
and my whole family's, day in, day out
Sunrise to sunset and later still

O toilet seat, now you have broken
and in your fancy design your little revenge
unfolds in a miriad of fruitless visits and phone calls
to high street retailers and trade establishments
who cannot help me find a replacement
to do your dirty work and bear the mass
of two adults and three children
day in, day out, sunrise to sunset and into the wee hour
up and down and up again
until your fancy cushioned hinges give up the ghost
and I get on the phone or the car to resolve
this agonising problem I hadn't seen coming
when I went to B&Q on another cold morning
and a fancy bathroom suite I scooped in the sales.